fa la la la la

the holidays are so bittersweet for me. especially the years em is with her dad for Christmas. i hate the Christmas song that says "it's the most wonderful time of the year." excuse me, a literal piece of me is gone and i'm supposed to be jolly? i don't think so. the enemy is constantly trying to invade our thoughts and bring shame to our lives and the holidays are a particularly hard time for me. i think about past mistakes and how that effects em and i (and everyone else in our families) now. i hate that she has to suffer the natural consequences of my sins. she is so precious. i worry that i have permanently tainted her view of marriage and family.

but guess what. the enemy doesn't win. we are victorious in Christ! through the miracles of His birth, death and resurrection we have access to total healing, forgiveness, and peace. and every time the enemy tries to remind me of my sins, i have to remind him that he is defeated and i'm forgiven.

so i may not be so jolly and fa la la la la at Christmas. but i will be joyful. and thankful. we have everything we need and things could be 100 times worse. God is faithful and will never leave us. that is more than we deserve. and i will continue to pray for em's future husband, despite her refusal to even consider getting married :)

p.s. i still may get a shirt made that says "she's with her dad."